


The ABCs of Blackhill

by patheticlesbiandisaster



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, NO DEATH, One Shot, One Shot Collection, ahahahahha lmao, and I opp, and chapter 20, but dont at me, except in chapter 19, fight me, im a sucker for fluff tbh, like zero angst, no hurt just comfort, pre endgame, pre iw, this is my crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2020-07-10 18:24:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 15,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19910197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patheticlesbiandisaster/pseuds/patheticlesbiandisaster
Summary: 1 alphabet, 26 letters. 1 ship, 26 one shots





	1. Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -accident  
> -fluff, LOTS OF IT

As the redheaded assassin walked through the dirty, wet, cigarette filled streets of New York she clutched tightly to something in her pocket, a red velvet ring box with a small silver band topped with a diamond wrapped by gold tipped leaves. She bought it after a total of two hours of Clint, Tony and Wanda's overlapping opinions over 'the kind of gal Hill is' which apparently, made a difference in ring choice.

It had started with just Wanda who had become a close friend to her but when she couldn't give a good enough reason to miss training to Clint, it soon became obvious that he would be bringing himself along for the little field trip claiming that he's 'Nat's bro' and that was a valid enough reason to tagging along. Tony had soon became known to the trip thanks to some eavesdropping done through the surveillance system and convinced them that he was worthy of the extra special trip because 'Pepper is on the verge of throwing him out a window due to the amount of problems he has given her to solve from one science experiment or another'.

So she dragged herself through the streets of New York with a bickering trio, which proved to be a good distraction because apparently the Black Widow gets nervous when she's about to ask the love of her life to marry her.

She walked out of the elevator instinctively going down the hallway and sticking the key into the keyhole to let herself into their shared apartment. Walking past the living room focused on the bedroom where the safe she planned on putting the velvety box in was located. Pulling the box out of her pocket, trying with all her might not to drop it from her quivering hands.

Suddenly, she feels someone jump on her, unable to regain her balance in time she falls to the ground. Nat's about to pull the knife from her boot when she hears the laughter from a certain Sharon Carter. "I did it! I got the mighty Black Widow by surprise! Ha! Suck it Romanoff!" shouts before proceeding to tickle her sides, Natasha winces from the sheer volume of her voice when she hears a third voice "Sharon, stop trying to tickle her, only I've managed to do that and trust me it's basically impossible." She winces at the sound Maria's voice and winces harder when she realises that she is no longer holding the velvet box.

When she opens her eyes again she sees her facial expression change from smiling at the funny scene to confused as she spots the red velvet box just out of Nat's reach. She picks it up and opens it curiously, she sees the contents of the box and smiles, tears welling up in her eyes. "Nat, is this you?" Maria asks smile forming on her face. She holds her breath before answering "Yeah." Sharon began to stand up and exit the room. "Hell yes," Maria says finally breaking the silence.

Natasha finally stops holding her breath, allowing a smile to form on her face as well, she steps in and grabs her face, kissing her fully on the lips. The two only break upon hearing the click of a camera shutter go off.

They turn to see Sharon Carter smiling proudly, phone in hand capturing the moment. She lifts her phone a little more to prevent them from seeing the tears streaming down her face.

The two smile brightly at each other as Natasha slides the ring onto Maria's finger. "Mine now," is all Maria can say before Natasha pulls her in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two) and see you on the flip side


	2. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Babysitting the Barton Kids  
> -future talk

Maria watched and listened intently to the scenes around her. She was bouncing Nathaniel to sleep, looking out the window, watching the oak tree's branches swaying with the wind, it was hypnotic almost, calming mostly. She kept an ear out for small explosions occurring in the kitchen where Nat was helping Lila and Cooper with their chemistry set, cooking up chemical concoctions left, right and center like 'Tony on a slow day at work.' Nat and her had gladly volunteered to babysit the Barton kids the moment they heard that it would grant them an escape ticket from yet another one of Tony's flamboyant, over the top, black-tie charity gala's.

They didn't take up the offer at first-despite knowing that Clint and Laura especially deserved a night away from the kids- because the two of them never thought of themselves to have any maternal instincts at all. They both love the three of them dearly and would hate to mess up their overall. average and innocent lives. Maria always tells could be a great mother despite not sharing blood with the child. Natasha too constantly reminds her that she is not her father, aunt or uncle, that she is kind and loving. No matter how much they try to reassure each other, nothing changes, they go back to the lies they have been telling themselves, that they have been believing for years. Because after a while it no longer becomes a question about your future or a sentence that disturbs you once in a while. it becomes your identity as an individual.

Despite their worries, the evening goes by smoothly. When they arrive Maria is pulled away by Lila and Cooper to be filed in on 'everything Auntie Nat did while you were saving the world'. There were things like a fixed and functioning treehouse ladder, an extra turret added to the ever-growing treehouse city, a periscope to spy through and even strings of fairy lights along the railing of the balcony to 'guide the way home.' 

After the treehouse tour, the three of them went inside for some snacks. When Maria had proposed the idea of a bike ride, she saw the expressions of the children in front of her sadden at the sound of the proposal. 

She then inquired about their frowny expressions. After some silent conversation between the two of them, Cooper finally spoke up and broke the silence when he complained: "Daddy said our bikes needed some fixing but he hasn't done it yet." Taking pity on their overworked father- though in Maria's opinion the only reason he wasn't home as enough was that he spent too much time in medical and testing out new gadgets for Stark- she took each by a hand, bringing them to the worktable outside the garage before instructing them to grab their bikes. 

Maria took the time to find some buckets, sponges, and soap. The trio began fixing the bikes, having fun and chatting along the way, eventually losing track of time. They don't even realize how late it was until Natasha came outside with Nathaniel resting on her hip.

"Hey guys, looks like you've been being productive out here, but i must ask. Mia, what's for dinner? I'm starving," Natasha says. Maria smiles when she looks up to see her smiling girlfriend carrying her namesake with messy hair and eyes struggling to stay open as if she had just woken up from a nap. "Soon Nat, I promise. We just need to clean up out here then I can go start dinner." she replies. "Well then, if you want to start earlier I can help them clean up out here while you go in and start on dinner.' Natasha proposes. Maria lets a small smile form on her lips as she walks towards the outdoor sink to wash all the dirt and grime from the bikes that had made its way onto her hands, smiling as she walks away.

***

When Maria served the penne pasta bake, she watched Lila, Cooper and Natasha wolf it all down hungrily. "I thought your mom said you're picky eaters," Maria says, hints of nonchalance in her voice. "But the difference is your food is yum," Lila says between mouthfuls.

After dinner, when all the kids were ready for bed, Natasha brought out a giant present wrapped in red wrapping paper and a blue ribbon. She presented it to the children who gladly received it, tearing away at the paper to find a chemistry set. 

"We can try the less messy experiments tonight," Natasha proposes. The children were already setting everything for their experiment up by the time she turned around again. It wasn't that they were quick in doing so but moreover that she was distracted by Maria playing with Nathaniel.

She watched as she cooed at Nathaniel and bounced him to sleep, how she would gently coax his hands and draw his attention to a toy when he would grab the longer pieces of her hair, how she could make her namesake laugh.

The night soon wound down and the two of them found themselves cuddling on the couch, savoring the silence. "You ever wonder what it would be like if one day we had to take care of our own spawns," Natasha asks. "Sometimes. Sometimes there's one, sometimes three. Sometimes they're adopted, sometimes they're our own. Sometimes they're only girls or boys, sometimes it's a mix. But the thing is no matter the scenario, it's always with you," she replies.

"Well that was cheesy now wasn't it," Natasha quips

"Oh please, you love it when I'm cheesy."

"Dork" she says smacking Maria's calf.

"Your dork," she replies bending over to kiss her girlfriend's forhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thanks for all the overwhelming support from the first chapter. Hope you like this one as much as the other one. thAnks for reading. Leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two). See you next time!


	3. Contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -intimate contact  
> -established relationship  
> -avengers gossip chain

Nobody noticed it at S.H.I.E.L.D., but once the Avengers had "permanently" relocated to Stark tower, it was hard not to. It was hard not to notice the way Natasha and Maria leave their hands outstretched behind them after they manage to get in a bit of handholding when they cross paths in the hallway. Hard not to notice the way they would sit as close as humanly possible before crossing their ankles, pulling them closer still. And it was especially hard not to notice how they would stand shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip or back to back when they could.

Darcy noticed it first- "Isn't my OTP just so cute and kinda bold, still doing stuff like that"- who then tells Jane, who in turn told Thor, who points it out to Steve, who tells Tony and because Tony couldn't keep his mouth shut, he told two people, Bruce and Pepper. Pepper told Laura, who told Clint, who told Wanda who told Sharon and before you could say 'Avengers Assemble!', Hardass Hill and the deadly Black Widow's cutesy, wannabe subtle PDA was the talk of the Stark Tower.

"Well, it seems we're the talk of the Tower now," Natasha said, miniature frame leaning against the door frame of Maria's office. "I know, Sharon wouldn't shut up about it," Maria replied not looking up from her paperwork. "For the earth's mightiest heroes they sure enjoy gossiping," the redhead quips. "Really? I blame the lack of swarming agents for being noticed so quickly," her girlfriend replies. "Wait til' they see our less public displays of affection," the assassin said, hips swinging rhythmically back and forth as she walks closer to the commander. The commander is quick to ditch her work, walking to her girlfriend as well, hands slowly moving up the assassin's body before she pulls her for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thanks for all the overwhelming support from the previous chapters. Hope you like this one as much as the other one. thAnks for reading. Leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two). See you next time!


	4. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -established relationship  
> -takeout dinner

"Hey, Maria! You wanna get drinks tonight? Jane's paying and Darcy's tagging along." Maria turns around to see the ever bright and chirpy Pepper Potts walking up to her from behind her. 

"Pepper, you know damn well what ‘Ladies Night' we had with Darcy and Jane, so why on earth would you want to go through the torment again?" Maria inquires, recalling the night. You could have bet that something was bound to happen with Jane "can't handle any alcohol" Foster and Darcy "firework show waiting to happen" Lewis,but that night was beyond what the two, often calm and collected businesswomen (who had to deal with Tony Stark and the testosterone party that is male avengers at any party with alcohol) to handle.

"No reason, just thought it'd be nice to get out of the office. Plus, I bet you could've used the time off," Pepper says unconvincingly.

"Yeah right, you're lying through your teeth. Beats me why you still tried to lie even though you know well enough you are probably the easiest person on the planet to read so just spill it," Maria says nonchalantly beginning to walk away.

Pepper bites her lower lip as if contemplating whether or not to spill the beans, but it's Maria's signature ‘Ice queen' glare that breaks her.

"That girlfriend of yours thinks that it's my fault that you work late," Pepper breaks.

Maria pinches the bridge of her nose, frustration beginning to flood her system. She's muttering something under her breath.

‘So, had you managed to drag me away from my hectic schedule, would you have left me the minute you saw her?" Maria asks.

"Maybe, maybe not," she says. Her response merely piling on to the growing headache Maria has.

"I'll go if you explain to her why I know, and how she's supposed to make it back by tonight if she's still in Penang on that mission with the All--American trinity of Steve, Sam and Bucky and isn't due back for another eight days" Maria sighs. "Steve requested for transport this morning, they cleaned up early so they're on their way now. She'll be back by five," Pepper says. Maria wants to ask more but the trusts Pepper's ways aren't too devious.

***

At around six that evening, Maria got a call from medical about Natasha. "She's been shot ma'am," said the nurse over the phone. "I'm on my way," Maria says. "Take your time ma'am, she's still got at least a half-hour left in surgery ma'am," the nurse says. Maria thanks the nurse and ends the call before walking to the elevators, asking JARVIS for her floor, changing into comfortable clothes and gets some takeout from the Chinese food place near the tower.

When she heads back up towards medical, food and change of clothes for Natasha in hand, she heads towards asking the nurse at the front desk "Which ward?" to which she gets the response of "342C, south side ma'am." She thanks the nurse and heads towards the ingratitude. She walked- through some might argue that she was running- to the room.

When Natasha arrived, she was still lying unconscious, hair splayed out on the pale pillow like a bonfire. Her pale skin almost camouflaged her against the white fitted sheets of the hospital bed. She pulls the chair closer to the bed. She puts her girlfriend's hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. 

"Hey Mia," the redhead says.

"Hey you," she replied, relishing in the silence, the serenity.

"Heard you threatened my boss, again," Maria says, a small smile forming on her lips"

"You were never home enough for my liking so I did something to fix that," Natasha said feigning innocence.

‘'Yeah, and the one time I decided to take some time off to celebrate my girlfriend finishing a job without hitch, you get shot," Maria sighs.

"If the Patriotic Trinity actually did its job then maybe I'd come home in one piece regularly.

"I think I liked it better when you threatened Nick, maybe even Coulson, but Pepper?" Maria says.

‘'At least there are egg rolls," Natasha says

"Don't forget the potstickers," Maria replies.

"Or me," Natasha adds.

Maria leans over to kiss her, stifling a laugh as she does it. "Doofus," she says. "your hungry doofus, feed me," the assassin says. Maria laughs as she places the food on the redhead's lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thanks for all the overwhelming support from the previous chapters. Hope you like this one as much as the others. thAnks for reading and a s always leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two). See you flip side!


	5. Egg Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -barton kids  
> -mischief galore

'Auntie Nat! Auntie Maria!"

Maria and Natasha are relaxing on the couch in the main lounge of the Avengers Tower when they heard two voices call out to them followed by a series of thundering footsteps. They sit up to look over the couch only to see the elder two Barton children running into the lounge with their father trailing behind them.

"Oh good, you're here. Can you watch them, please? Tony wants me to try out some new prototypes he has for me but Laura has a doctors appointment for Nate so I was going to lug them around. Now, I don't have to put them around Tony 'the man child' Stark today," Clint says.

"We didn't even say yes," Natasha replied 

"We are bros, you're bound to say yes. Ok thanks bye!" Barton says quickly before running off.

"Well, what do you guys want to mold or mess," Maria asks the children.

"SCIENCE EXPERIMENT!" Lila exclaims, her brother just nods his head in agreement.

"Well we do not have much around, I don't know what we could do," Natasha says as she combs her brain for things to do.

"Egg drop?" Maria suggests, "The supermarket had a discount on eggs.

The childrens' faces light up with excitement

"Well, that's where we are going then," Natasha says looking at her girlfriend.

***

Once they return to the tower with the tray of eggs, they set up shop near the banister above the main lounge where you could drop the eggs up to five floors below.

As Maria is listening to Lila and cooper's suggestions about how to protect the egg, she catches Nat setting up video feeds from the corner of her eye. curious as to what she was up to, she distracts the children by assigning them the task of giving the eggs personality.

"Hello Mia," Natasha says as she hears Maria scooting closer to her, holding her inner thigh to pull herself closer still.

"What are you doing?" she asks

"Setting up a surveillance feed," she said in a sarcastic tone.

"Yeah, I can see that, but why?" she questioned.

"Because we then know the perfect timing to drop eggs on people. The best part is that we can blame it on a failed science experiment with the kids," she replies.

The commander smiles, leave it up to the assassin, a very sassy assassin, to stir up mischief with no evidence. 

"Smart," she says under her breath.

***

The next few hours were spent on timing the perfect egg bombs, saving the best eggs for last, and competing to be the most accurate bomber.

"Did you see that! Right on Tony's hair," Cooper says in a hushed shout.

"Great! And if anyone asks what you did today?" The couple asks.

"We learned how to counter kinetic energy that plummets the egg to the ground so that we can protect the egg," the children say in unison.

The couple smiled at each other and when the screen showed the universe's number 1 hair models Thor, Loki and Bucky walk towards them, this would be fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks guys for all the overwhelming support from the previous chapters. Hope you like this one as much as the other one. thAnks for reading. Leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two). See you next time!


	6. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -sharing food  
> -barton kids

Natasha walks into the kitchen of the Barton farm. Saying good morning chirpily while stifling a yawn as she does so to Laura, Clint, and Lila who respond in unison. Laura nudges Cooper who muffles a hello as he continues to gulp down his milk. Natasha walks towards the Maria who is leaning against the kitchen island reading the news with a coffee mug in one hand. The assassin stops behind the commander, pressing herself to her girlfriend's back and snaking it around her waist.

"Morning Mia," she says. "Morning to you too" She replies, leaning her head on the assassin's own. Natasha takes a sip from her coffee mu making a face as she tastes it. "That's strong," she says maintaining the expression for a while. "I need it like that, barely got any sleep last night" the brunette replies. "Aw, paperwork that hard?" she asks teasingly. The brunette nods towards Barton's coffee table in the living room that's been the foundation to a wall of papers around a single pen. "You poor soul," Natasha says surprised before comforting her girlfriend with a kiss.

Lila nudges Cooper who nearly chokes again. Once he had gathered his bearings he manages to grunt "What?" "Auntie Nat and Auntie Maria do that a lot," Lila says. "What's that? Elaborate," he asks. "Sharing food like that, It's kinda, ew," she says. "Mom and Dad finish our food and we share food, What's wrong with that," he says. "You guys are talking about them," Clint says joining the conversation from behind. Lila says "I'll tell you something if you don't tell Mom, Or Auntie Nat especially Auntie Maria cause she'll probably tell the other two." Cooper holding out his pinky finger up. Clint replies "Promise" Lila joins her's and then Clint joined his kids.

"Okay, so this is actually a very, homey thing for them. They do not do this at work, sometimes in front of friends. But they don't think you can try to steal their food because of this, you'd just get a flick on the nose or a smash on the hand, trust me." Clint tells his children. They nod in unison.

A few days later, they decide to enquire about the couple's colleagues when they come over for the best barbeque of the year as their Dad called it.

At the end of the day, they review Laura's notes. Mostly them saying "It's not rare to see it" and " They live off each other's leftovers" from Tony and Pepper. Some expressions of worry from Jane and what is most likely the most confusing exchange of the evening with none other than Darcy Lewis, "Oh yeah, my OTP , the number of times they have indirectly kissed because of that is unbelievable. I'm surprised that they haven't got mono yet." "What's mono and OTP?" they asked. She replied smartly with "You'll know when you are older.

"Maybe we should just let it be," Cooper suggests to his sister. "Maybe," Lila replies. "Don't let them see the notebook," he reminds her. "I know," she replies as she pets Goose. Little did they know that the couple had heard everything and knew about the notes. Well, kids will be curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thanks for all the overwhelming support from the previous chapters. Hope you like this one as much as the others, thAnks for reading. And as always, leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two). See you next time!


	7. Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -HIMYM crossover  
> -established relationship

Natasha was about to fall asleep when she heard footsteps outside her door. "Bye Robin, be safe," said a voice from behind the door. Natasha smirked to herself, Maria's home.  She stands behind the door for her and when she opened the door, she saw Agent Swarley undercover as Barney Stinson and Ted Mosby.

"Woah Robin, Who's the newbie?" Barney asks. Maria turns around and sees an open door but no one in sight.

"Who?" she asks.

"Spill it Scherbatsky. We saw the red hair," Mosby says.

"Wait till Lily hears about this," Barney says.

"I am texting her right now," Marshall adds, that's a surprise.

"Go away," she hears Hill say before the sound of footsteps getting louder before you see her walk through the door .

"Way to blow it, Romanoff," she says placing her coat on the coat rack, emptying her pockets on to the table.

"Can't help it if I'm excited to see you now can I?" she replies with a smirk.  The commander can't help but smile as she pulls the redhead for a kiss when they before Hill, No, Robin Scherbatsky's phone interrupts  .

"Robin's phone, Natalie speaking," she says, extra ep in her voice.

"Natalie? I've never heard of you. I'm her best friend," says the person over the phone. Maria shoots her a look as if asking who she was speaking to, she mouths  'Lily  Aldrin' in response.

"Oh you must be Lily, Robin told me so much about you because I'm her best friend," Natasha says,  clearly  having too much fun.

"Well if you're her best friend then why hasn't she told me anything about you? Lily snaps.

"Because I'm also her girlfriend," Natasha says.  At the sound of the word, Maria's eyes shoot wide open and Natasha yanks the phone away from her ear upon hearing Lily squeal .

"Robin has a secret girlfriend?! I knew she was too hot to be straight," she says.

"If you don't have anything urgent to tell her right now I'll hang up," she says trying to hide her surprise from the sudden squeal while she hits the red button .

Natasha feels hands slinking around her waist and leans into the touch, resting her head on the taller woman's collar bone .

"So I'm your girlfriend huh?" she asks.

"Hope you don't mind, it felt right so I thought of making it official," she replies, trying to mask her uneasiness.

"Official right? I'll go get the bubbly then," the commander whisper's into the redhead's ear.

As she gets the champagne glasses, she spots Natasha's "Black Widow' mug one of the boys had gotten her for Christmas, a.k.a her favorite coffee mug, right next to hers -that reveals the S.H.I.E.L.D logo when you pour a hot drink in- sitting next to the other glasses on the shelf above . 'Girlfriend', she has to admit, it has a nice ring to it, and it feels... right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end, I can't believe you actually read it. next week is my holidays so i'll try to prep the next few chapters for y'all so you don't have to waste your time reading crap. many thanks for reading this and as always leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and see you next time (with a better idea hopefully)  
> P.S. if you want to help me produce less crappy ideas you are always welcomed to do so in the comments


	8. Helicopter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -injured!maria  
> -worried!natasha  
> -proposal

To say the mission had gone bad was an understatement. Bullets had ricocheted off the walls and the artillery was more than they expected. Someone had given them old intel considering some walls that existed didn't. But that was the least of Natasha's concerns right now. Because right now she was on a helicopter headed to the nearest hospital thirty clicks away. She was sitting on the floor of the helicopter staring at the person lying on the stretcher next to her. She clung to the cold metal leg of the makeshift bed, collecting her rattled thoughts. 

"She can't die, please no," Natasha muttered to herself. "Why did you come, you wouldn't have gotten hurt if it wasn't for Barton if it wasn't for me. I got distracted, then you let him put a bullet in yours, for me, god you're stupid Mia," she continued to rattle on. "You should have stayed back and let us handle it," she increased her volume to counter the sound of the chopper. "Don't die today, you can't die today. I have plans for when we get home, next tuesday." she pauses contemplating whether she should continue. She continues, "not like you an hear me unconscious and over the noisy chopper. But when we get home, I was going to cook you dinner and we would talk about what we see for ourselves in the future. After dinner, we would go to the balcony and I would tell you how much I love you. Then when everything's done, we would sit on the couch and watch Law and Order. Then, I would drop something, like the actress I am, and get down on one knee and ask you to marry me. And then I would wait, for your answer. So you can't die, not today, okay Mia?" she says, trying to hold back her tears.

***

A few days later, Natasha is by Maria's bedside, waiting for her to wake up. She's pacing up and down the room with nerves. When she's settled down, she reached into her bag and brings out her phone, opening the chess app. Out of instinct, she starts a game, for two. She realizes what she did but continues playing as both of them nonetheless. Natasha imagines what Maria would do and say. "You can't do that Nat," or "ROOK-ie mistake". She hits the 'undo' button for the umpteenth time when she hears "If you're going to undo a move leave out mine." The redhead turns to the hospital bed to see her girlfriend, smiling at her with a weak smile. She runs to her side, climbing into the bed and hugging her from the side. "You didn't die," she says, hugging her closer still. "How could I?" the brunette replies. They lean into the touch, savoring the moment. Maria breaks the silence as with, "Oh and by the way, yes." "To what?" she asks. "To what you said on the ride hear," she replies. "But we aren't home yet," she whispers. "You're my home darling,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to jasmine who helped me come up with this stupid idea. welcome to the end. I'm trying to prep all my chapters so that I'll post more often. once again, many thanks for reading this and as always leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and see you next time (with a better writing hopefully)


	9. Ice Skating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -established relationship  
> -Christmas trope

One winter day, Natasha had mentioned ice skating, no more than a week later, Maria had rented out an entire rink just for them. 

Maria looks at her skates with confusion, her feet inside but the laces a puddle on the ground. 

“Here,” Natasha says, her laces already done up and tied tight. “Put your feet in my lap and I’ll do it for you – carefully, please! These things are sharp.”

Maria just grins at her sheepishly and Natasha nearly blushes before turning her attention to the skates.

As they stepped onto the rink, Maria fell hard onto the ice. "Here, hold my hand, I'll support us both," Natasha says, hand outstretched. Maria gladly takes her hand and stands up. They glide across the rink together, hand in hand. 

Later, Maria felt tired so she went to the stands to rest. Natasha, free from the responsibility of supporting an unsteady Maria (who knew the deputy director couldn't balance on the blades) went on her own. She brought her right foot back in next to the left and zigzagged. She took longer and long strokes, one foot after the other. After pushing from the wall, she felt free as a bird, holding her arms out and smiling. She bent her knees and moved her body with easy strokes. Soon, both skates were parallel to one another, pointing the same angle, making her go farther and faster down the rink. She lengthened her left and right leg, alternating her strides. She balanced on either foot, making the sport look easy. She glided across the rink gracefully, turn after turn, jump after jump. She looked like a dancer flowing with the music in her head.

Maria upon seeing her girlfriend dancing on the ice, took out her phone to snap a picture. She then walked on over to the rink and skated to her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her waist. 

"Hey, how did you get over here by yourself?" Natasha says realising that she is the farthest distance from the small gate. "You really thought that I couldn't skate huh?" Maria replies smirking. "Well of course I thought so. You couldn't even put on your skated by yourself or go five feet before falling on the ice." Natasha says, laughing to herself. "Oh please, I'm from Vancouver and played ice hockey for a bulk of my childhood, of course I can skate. Besides, did you really think that in the five plus years I've been friends with May she hasn't taken out her nice side for a day of skating at Rockefeller at least once?" Maria says. "Then why did you fake it?" Natasha chirps. "Ever thought I just wanted to hold your hand?" Maria asks.

Natasha turns around and kisses her. Shocked by the suddenness of the kiss, Maria falls over, both of them hitting the ice. "You may know how to skate, but you still don't know how not to fall." Natasha says. They laugh. Their laughter fills the empty arena. They lay there, in each other's arms, laughing, embracing the moment, hoping it lasts forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end. haha look who finally posted on time. anyways thanks for reading and as always, leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and see you on the flip side (soon hopefully)


	10. Jar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -pre-relationship  
> -pre-avengers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by that one NCIS scene, if you know, you know (YES I'M REALLY THAT UNINSPIRED THAT I CHOSE JAR)

"Good morning, everyone and happy Tuesday," Coulson chirps, putting a small gift in front of each of them. Natasha, Clint, Coulson and Maria were currently in Maria's office. Natasha and Clint were splayed out in the floor flicking erasers while Maria was at her desk finishing up her paperwork. "What's this for?" Clint asks. "Gifts, for all of you,' Coulson says smiling. "Why it isn't a holiday or anybody's birthday?" Natasha asks, looking up from the game. "Well think about it like this, would you appreciate a gift in your birthday and/or Christmas or a random Tuesday?" Coulson explains. "Fair enough," Clint says as he unwraps the small package.

Natasha unwrapped the small present and pulled out a pair of white gold ear studs with rubies. "Just like the ones I lost on the mission the other day, thanks a lot Barton. Much appreciated Coulson," Natasha says, glaring at Clint as she does.

Clint unwraps his gift to find a thin fleece blanket, "Perfect for my nest thanks," he thanks.

Maria, tempted by the nice gifts the others had received, she opens hers to find a jar. a single round jar with a gold cover. "Um, thanks," she says. "Sorry, I didn't know what to get you so I thought you could do with a little desk decor," Coulson explains. Maria hums a response and goes back to her paperwork.

And the little glass jar just stood there, out of mind. Until a week later.

Nat was on a mission with Phil and Clint. Clint was up in his nest and Coulson was running point on the operation from the quinjet. Maria was supervising the operation because it was an especially risky one. They had sent Nat in undercover to gather intel on the target and as of right now they hadn't heard anything for the last five minutes. The last they heard from her was shouting, smashing and crashes. Clint didn't see anything but Coulson and Maria thought it'd be best to go in. 

When they arrive at the scene, they find the target running away from them. Clint and Coulson soon pinned him down but Natasha is nowhere to be found. 

"Where is she?"Maria asked fist hovering over his face "Got rid of the little bitch," he says smiling. Maria punches him before running towards the lake nearby. 

When she reaches the lake, she sees Natasha's charm bracelet - Maria had gotten it for her, "I thought it'd be perfect for you." "It is, thank you." They had been running around their feelings for some time but neither had said anything, the bracelet was supposed to be a shjve in the right direction - shimmering the moonlight. There is a flash of red in the water and Maria dives in, searching for the assassin. She finds Natasha in the water unconscious. She drags the both of them out if the water and immediately tries to resuscitate the redhead. 

"This is not how I imagined our first kiss," Natasha quips. Maria can't help but laugh "Neither did I," she mumbles. Natasha kisses her again, "That's more like it," she says. She laughs some more.

A few days later, Maria is back at the lake with her jar. She picks up the bracelet and puts it in the jar with some of the lake water. She comes back a few days later to find it labelled "the water that washed away the line between friends and girlfriends :)"

That felt right to her, girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end. please enjoy these jar jokes about how uninspired I am:)  
> nobody:  
> not a single soul:  
> Sarah: JAR  
> ***  
> me, looking through the dictionary for j words: wow look at all these pretty j words. I LIKE THAT ONE (jar)  
> ***  
> yes I do realize that I could've done a jealousy fic but no I chose JAR. if y'all comment I'll try and reply asap but just know that I appreciate your comments always :)) . anyways thanks for actually reading this, and as always leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and I'll see you at the next chapter :DD


	11. Karaoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -karaoke  
> -HIMYM crossover

Maria and Natasha walked into McLaren's to meet Lily, Mosby, Marshall, and Barney to have fun and get drunk. They all say down at their usual poof and Lily paid for the first round of booze. They all drank to their heart's content and watched as Barney tried to get yet another person lay. He finally convinced a very drunk blonde to sleep with him after he told her that he was taking off for Mars tomorrow. He left the bar with the drunk lady and Ted and Marshall then left to re-watch Star Wars. Lily left last when at 10.30pm as she had to go to work the next day. Natasha asked if Maria was working tomorrow and she said that she was taking personal leave as she was in town. She couldn't help but smile at how sweet and caring her girlfriend was. Later, Wendy the waitress suggested they try the new karaoke machine. Natasha persuaded Maria to go and try it out. She had never heard Maria sing but based on what she had heard from Sharon she was good. Maria was reluctant at first but she was down to do anything for her girlfriend. She chugged down the last of her drink and went to try the karaoke booth.

They sauntered over to the booth and shut the door. Maria told Natasha to choose the song so she chose Moon River and Maria started to sing. Natasha had yet to hear Maria sing, so she felt shock when she had heard her. She had a voice so smooth and her tone and pitch was just like the song. She never missed a beat. She sang it with perfection despite not knowing the song. Natasha still in awe and asked how she could sing like that. Maria told her about the karaoke sessions that she had with Sharon when she was younger.

Soon it was Natasha's turn and Maria chose a song, Hey Beautiful by the Solids. Natasha was in time with the music and her pitch was perfect. Maria was curious as to how Natasha was so good at singing, surely an organisation like the Red Room wouldn't allow it. "In the red room, music helped me calm down. It was an escape. I would listen and sing the same song over and over again, until a new song came up. Then, I would sing that song over and over again. It was what kept me sane, I guess," she explained

Maria suggested they do a duet and they sang the night away. They sang until the bar closed the next day. Maria joked about how she learned so much about her through stupid songs as she pulled her in for a short kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcom tithe end. if y'all comment I'll try and reply asap but just know that I appreciate your comments always :)). anyways thanks for actually reading this (let's be real here that was a mess, not my best), and as always leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and I'll see you at the next chapter :DD


	12. Language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -multilingualism  
> -established relationship

It started at Steve's 94th birthday, when the gang was singing Happy Birthday in English. Natashaw had wished him in Gaelic.

Maria noticed it again when she was in a meeting discussing the path way of the Avengers without S.H.I.E.L.D. Maria heard Natasha saying something in Malay. She knew that Natasha had a lot of experience from her training. That she learned many languages as if she were a translator for the United Nations. But Maria had only to heard her speak in English, Russian, Chinese, Latin, French, Italian and German. She knew that those were the basic languages that an agent needed to know.

***

Natasha spoke to Steve in Korean, Tony in Spanish, Fury in Albanian, and the list goes on. when there is a secret that she wants to convey, Natasha has a language for each specific person. She took a long time to learn each language taking the time she had when she went to missions in other parts of the world. Maria was becoming curious as to why she spoke all these different languages, or had she forgotten the promise they had made years ago to 'leave the job at the office". She did not want to full-on interrogate her girlfriend. "Don't force anything on her, give her a month" Maria told herself. The month flew by fast, and so did a couple of incidents. The first was in Serbian with Coulson. The second was Indian with Bruce. The third was with Vision in Bengali. The fourth was with Strange and Wanda in Dutch and last, was with Okoye in Arabic. Over the month she had learned a lot about everyone's linguistic ability.

***

When they were alone at home when Maria asked her, "I thought you were sticking to English off the job." "I wanted people to trust me with their secrets," Natasha replied. "Oh, great now you've made me look like an idiot because you're too good of a person," Maria says. "Do you want to know why I do it?" the redhead asks and the commander nods in reply. "I let people confide their secrets in me because I want to prove that I could keep secrets, instead of exploiting them." "Sometimes," she confessed in Czech as Coulson walked into the room. "I wish I could erase my past and never have gone to the Red Room." As Coulson left, Maria kissed her. "You have nothing to prove," she says before kissing her girlfriend again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you actually read that? good job. welcome to the end and be sure to leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and be sure to leave any suggestions in my inbox on Tumblr.


	13. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -moving in  
> -established relationship

It's a considerably calm weekend morning for Maria and Natasha with no pending disasters, extinction level events or genocidal maniacs to save the world from, not even a PR problem they had to solve due to one of Tony's flamboyant black tie charity events. As a matter of fact, it had been a considerably calm week, they had nothing to entertain themselves with at S.H.I.E.L.D - something very uncharacteristic for two high ranking agents like themselves - with the exception of terrorising rookie agents and dreadful paperwork. It always put you on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but there isn't much you can do with your waiting time besides savour the free time.

So here they were waiting for the other shoe to drop cuddling on their couch while watching NCIS on Netflix. Usually Maria would point out the lack of authenticity and the idiot plot moments in such shows and Natasha would smile to herself because "It's hard not to when you look like a normal person and act like the tough commander". But today, she wasn't smiling to herself like an idiot, nor was she watching with such intent trying to identify the scenes and competing with Maria to spot the "mistake" first so she can rub in the Commander's face due to her lack of focus to spot the holes in the plot, she wasn't even waiting to throw popcorn kernels at Maria when she opened her mouth to make a comment about the show. Today, she was watching Maria because she wasn't saying anything, she wasn't even watching the show, she only did so when something was bothering her. So Natasha watched as Maria's eyes scanned the room, so the redhead too looked around the room, pausing at spots where the brunette did so. That's when she noticed.

Her hoodie awkwardly hanging off a dining room chair, her coat next to the key tray, her duffle bag that she took with her on missions on the coat rack next to the door with bandages haphazardly sticking out like vines on a tree, her bloodied heels from a recent mission next to Maria's shoes, her running shoes next to the bookshelf and a pair of S.H.I.E.L.D issue sweat pants by the TV, and those are just the things withing eye line, who knows how many of her things are in the bedroom.

She then knew what was bothering Maria, she had taken over Maria's apartment. She remembered what Maria's apartment looked like when she stepped in to it. Everything organized and pristine. Everything had a place and could be found quickly in an emergency. Now it was different, Natashas sloppiness had too taken over the once organized apartment.

Embarrassed for taking advantage of Maria's hospitality she grabs the duffle bag from the coat rack and begins packing it all in, moving quickly and agilely to pick up her belongings and scanning for more as she went along.

"Nat! Nat! what are you doing?" she hears Maria call out. She turns around to face her, "I've taken over your apartment," she says quickly before going back to picking up her belongings and stuffing them in her bag. "Nat stop!" Maria shouts after her. The redhead turns around to face her staring into her dark blue orbs, bracing herself for her what she thinks is coming, she guessed she should have seen it coming, she had wasn't fit for love just like they said back at the Red Room.

"Move in with me." "What?" she replies. "Sorry I just thought that it might be more convenient since half your stuff is here instead of Stark Tower anyways plus it would be nice to have you here a little more permanently," Maria said, bitung the side of her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "Really?" Nat asked she didn't believe any of it. "Really," Maria replied reassuringly. They were smiling from ear to ear, they had taken a leap into the unknown and it paid off. Maria sluts her hand around the assassin's waist and pulled her in for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the end. hopefully this chapter is better than the last two so like hehe. for those of who noticed I changed my url because, well I got hacked but whatever. I was demonichelbeast but now I'm patheticlesbiandisaster. anyways if you comment I'll try to reply asap. and as always leave you friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a comment and kudos or two. see you on the flip side, side note we're halfway to the end ; )


	14. Netball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -netball  
> -avengers family vacation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of my own head canon. also my longest chapter yet. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT NETBALL IS GO LOOK IT UP,,,,,, after reading this. not proofread all mistakes are mine

"What's netball ?" Maria asks as they are walking down the streets of sunny Brisbane. 

***

They were on holiday, if you could call it that. They were there on unofficial Avengers business, Tony thought that it would be a good idea to take a holiday, as a team. 

"'It's a great way for team building' he said. I'm not enjoying having to share every waking moment interacting with her teammates that I already spend every waking moment trying to ignore," Natasha says before slamming her suitcase shut and zipping it close with a bit more force than necessary. "You're one to talk, I literally spend every other minute babysitting the lot of you and cleaning up after your messes,' Maria replies smirking at the sight of her tiny girlfriend trying to use her body weight to compress her bag shut while leaning against the doorframe. 

"If we're gonna survive the trip there has got to be some pros," the redhead replies smirking back with a sense of accomplishment, "Like all the roller coasters at movie world that we're gonna make all of them ride until they throw up once we get to Gold Coast," she quips, "I can't wait to see Tony hurl his guts out onto the pavement, I can already hear Pepper cheering us on," Nat adds. "Surfing, I heard the waves are amazing," Maria adds smile ever present on her face. Maria surfs, add that to the ever growing list of things she didn't know about the Commander. "Netball…" Natasha says before she's interrupted by Maria's "What's netball?" 

She's staring at her in disbelief, "You haven't heard of netball?" she says still in shock, "No, and you have?" was her reply. "Yeah, I used to play," she replies nonchalantly. She just nods in reply. Natasha is still irritated by her lack of knowledge about the sport. "I bet you're the only person who doesn't know about netball going on this trip!" Natasha says glaring at Maria. "If you're so willing to bet, then I'm willing to bet twenty bucks that I'm not, in fact I bet the rest of them don't know, every single one of them." she quips. "Then we'll see at the airport tomorrow and then I'll be twenty bucks richer." Nat says, smirk on her face. Maria didn't say anything but just smirked in return, climbing into bed next to her. This would be an interesting trip. 

***

The next day, Natasha is pushing their trolley hurriedly through the airport towards the rest of the group. Maria spots Laura and the kids talking to Pepper while the boys seem to be bickering over one thing or another some distance away from them. They see Sharon also pushing her trolley from the opposite side looking equally as irritated by the idea of being included in this the trip, especially since she's just rescue when she isn't Maria's unofficial right hand. 

Natasha watched as she walked closer, slowing down her pace from a that of a walk in the park to a crawl when she noticed her staring at her like she had killed Liho. "If something uncivil is about to happen, might as well delay the inevitable," she thought. Soon all eyes were on her which made her even more uncomfortable than absolutely necessary.

"Why so pouty Carter? Missing your girlfriend already are we?" Maria quips, ubiquitous smirk on her face from seeing her usually who is more often than not cheerier than her slouching over her trolley as she pushes it, decreasing her speed as she goes. "If someone hadn't booked a flight that required me to arrive at six in the bloody morning! Maybe I wouldn't be so fuckin pissed." she says giving Tony dagger eyes that would have given even Kevin - who had spent a good chunk of his life around Peggy Carter, Sharon Carter and Maria Hill - the chills.

"Yeah okay we're all pissed at the unnecessarily early flight but, let's cut to the chase," Nat says emphasising on the word 'unnecessarily'. Puzzled looks appear on everybody's faces. "Who doesn't know what's netball?" she asks, confident of the outcome. 

She's caught by surprise when she sees everybody's hands fly up simultaneously. Maria is smirking beside her, hand out waiting for her twenty. 

Natasha couldn't believe her eyes, nobody had heard of (in her opinion) on of the best sports to ever exist, these blasted Americans who had that cursed sport they call American football. "Are you fucking kidding me?" she says a little too loudly. Everybody had quizzical looks on their faces. Natasha just storms off towards the hangar without saying another word.

***

Later, once all of them had settled in on the plane, Maria had found the semi-private area where Nat was. At first there was there was no conversation, no pushing, no expecting anything to be said, just comfortable silence, comforting, reassuring almost, nothing was said but you could feel it in the air, something that just said "I'm here, whenever you're ready I'll be here, waiting, so just take your time." After a while, Natasha spoke up, "Sorry," she said. "Hey it's okay, no need to apologise. But can I ask you something?" Maria says, running her fingers through the assassin's hair. "Anything," she says. "How do you know about the sport? Also it seems pretty important to you, why?" Maria asks, trying not to sound pushy. 

Natasha visibly takes a deep breath before answering, "One of my missions for the Red Room, my mark was this medical staff for a netball team, so I went undercover as a player to get close to him. I didn't really fit in there because all the other players were at least five foot five, but I had speed, and strength and agility so I was out into the midcourt positions more often than not. It was one the ops where I genuinely enjoyed myself but still got the job done. I grew to love the sport over time and the players who were supposed to be collateral damage became the closest thing I got to friends at that time. One day the head coach decided to have a chat with me after training, I opened up to her pretty easily, within reason and confidentiality boundaries, but I told her how I felt, made up situations where a normal person could feel the same way if put into it, and she told me something that has stayed with me until now, "Do what you think is right, and you can find your way." I like to believe that's what triggered everything in me, made me try to escape it, all of it, leave the Red Room behind. That's why it means so much to me, I was supposed to kill the medical personnel, but I saw the way he bonded with the coaches, the players, I was supposed to kill him just because he came across some weapons, they wanted no witnesses, I didn't kill him, I couldn't. So I got him off the grid, he still continued being apart of that team, but under an alias, I changed some very prominent features of him, I don't know if the Red Room found out, I still don't."

Maria sat there, stroking the back of Natasha's hand with her thumb, comforting silence filled the space. She finally spoke up, "Well, then I'm glad to meet the sport that gets me laid on a semi-regular basis." "Semi-regular? Pfft, the credit I get is never enough," Natasha quips, feigning offence.

***

The whistle blew and every one went to the sidelines to get a sip of water and deliberate for the half time break. They could see Sharon and Wanda exchanging Wing Defence and Wing Attack bibs, squirming as they pulled the sweaty bibs over themselves. Natasha was smiling, glad to have the Center bib all to herself. 

"For someone who hasn't played the sport before, you are a fantastic shooter Mia," Natasha tells her, placing a finger on the Goal Attack bib, pressing against her ribcage. 

"Well I may or may not have done some research beforehand," the brunette says, smirking as she takes a sip of her water. "Really now?" Natasha says in disbelief. "Of course, anything for you," Maria says. "Are you sure it's nothing to do with wanting to get back at Tony for saying that I couldn't possibly play better than home because the sport needs height?" Natasha says. "Ok maybe that has something to do with it," Maria says feigning innocence. Natasha pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. "Would you expect anything else? I'm your knight in sweaty bib and even death won't do us part." Natasha lets out a hearty laugh. "How did I get such a dork?" she mumbles under her breath. "Hmm let's see… of that's right, about seven years ago, I dove into a lake to save you from drowning after a perp threw you in there. You're welcome, no thanks needed by the way," Maria says with nonchalance. "Thank you, for everything, especially this," Natasha says before kissing her fully on the lips. They hear the whistle telling them to get back on court and as if that wasn't clear enough, Sharon and Wanda shouted at them to get on court. They broke their kiss and jogged to their respective places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha, fucking love this sport so much. welcome to the end and thank you for reading this. Sharon Carter's too hot to be straight, fight me. don't forget to give your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos and comment (or two) and see you on the flip side.


	15. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Halloween pranks  
> -future fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda a future fic so if you need to know the children it's.  
> 1) Andrea Jacqueline "AJ"  
> 2) Emily Yvonne  
> 3) Charlotte Elizabeth "Charlie"  
> 4) Zara Nicole  
> 5) Brooklyn McKenna

October, the minute it becomes October, Maria and Natasha's shared apartment becomes filled to the brim with all kinds of spooky decorations and candy. The minute Natasha had learned about this American tradition, she was hooked. Maria was never one to endorse this tradition, but playing pranks on people, especially children, with Natasha was the perfect way to celebrate the holiday. There would be classics like the shaving cream in the face. Then there were new, creative, innovative and and fun pranks, like the time they left the taps running and made the ventilation system blow adhesive powder everywhere making a very sticky mess for the other's to clean up. They always left the crime scene clean of any evidence that they were there. 

However, once Natasha and Maria had children of their own, they stopped doing so in case they started to get any of their own ideas to get back at them with. So imagine their surprise when someone had started to play their old tricks against them. 

From the minimal pranks like replacing the cream cheese to mayonnaise to more elaborate pranks like covering their entire room and offices with aluminium foil. 

Someone was playing their old tricks on them, and when they saw the Han Solo-like human casts of themselves standing at every entrance they could find, they had enough. 

The couple were very cautious of their movements being well aware of the last prank on the list, the ding-dong drill. 

The ding-dong drill was by far the most painful, uncomfortable and funniest joke to be a victim of. In the case of Natasha and Maria, they played this joke on Clint in 2012. The victim is smashed by two doors covered in protective film before being pushed into the ground in a drill like manner. The doors are then removed and the person is stuck there. No injuries would be found on the victim because if the protective film, however it was great fun watching Barton try to wiggle his way out of the trap and all tries to get him out fail because the protective film had no grip.

Days later, on the eve of Halloween, Natasha and Maria had become the victims of their own brainchild of a prank. However, the prank did not play out as expected. Two doors cane at them, but instead of sandwiching them, the doors simply scooped then up and they rode the door like a magic carpet. They were then sat on two chairs and pushed in towards a table with more force than necessary. When they tried to get up, it was no use, they were stuck to the chairs. Later, a whole roast chicken dropped onto the table. A few sides came up from inside the table and surrounded it. The couple desperately tried to move away when they saw someone willing towards them from the shadows. "Hello Mothers," said their eldest daughter AJ as she walked towards them.

"What is this AJ?" Maria asks. "It's simple," the couple turned towards the voice to see Emily walk towards them. "We wanted to have dinner together, you guys were never around enough, so we made you paranoid to get you to stay at home," said Charlie, hand holding her elder sister's. They both took their seats and soon the twins came in and said "This is the ding-dong dinner," in unison.

"Well, since you went through all this trouble to get us here, let's dig in!" Natasha exclaims. "Unless Emily cooked it?" Maria asked. "It was one time!" Emily shouted defensively. "Don't worry, I cooked it," AJ said trying to stifle a laugh. 

And so the family ate, laughing at the stories of each other's days. "Hey, quick question, how did you know all our pranks?" Natasha asked. "Remember that footage you thought you got rid off? It wasn't very well gotten rid off, very easily recoverable." AJ said with a smirk. Natasha and Maria has their mouths agape. Maybe they should do this more often they thought, come home early and be with their children. Family first right? Of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thanks for all the overwhelming support from the previous chapters. Hope you like this one as much as the other one. thAnks for reading. Leave your friendly neighborhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two). See you next time!  
> P.S. there probably will be another fic about the children and where they come from and all so hang on tight.


	16. Paper Rings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -song fic  
> -flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaooo, I'm back. Ahahaha, I'm not dead, Surprise! this was a long time coming so Enjoy?!
> 
> NO BETA WE DIE LIKE MEN

_The moon is high_

_Like your friends were the night that we first met_

_Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet_

_Now I've read all of the books beside your bed_

It was one of those nights where all the Avengers were gathered at the Stark Tower roof for a night of relaxation, or so they thought. Darcy was absolutely wasted on Asgardian mead, and so was Clint, and Tony, and Sam. It was a mess. All of them just sit back, relax and watch a movie, or something. 

Until, Thor brought out and entire keg (yes reader a fucking keg) of Asgardian mead. Steve had some, Bucky had some. Darcy turned it into a drinking contest, and everyone else followed along.

Natasha had some too, just a glass. But along with everything else she had that night, she was pretty drunk. So Maria helped to drag her back to her room. 

It only took her about twenty minutes to take her to her room. But in that time, Natasha had confessed "you're so hot Commander, anyone would be lucky to have you. And I hope someday that lucky person is me, I really like you, do you know that? Like, like like you, I'd even say I love you if we were dying, which I hope we don't, I wanna spend forever together, like those fairy tales. You know what? Marry me! Right now!" Natasha rummages through her drawer and pulls out two strips of paper, swiftly folding them into rings before slipping them onto their fingers.

"There, see now we're married," she says adamantly. 

Maria laughs as she takes off the ring and tucks it into her back pocket.

As she finally got Natasha into something more comfortable to sleep in, she was deemed a knight in shining armour for "saving me from the evil dress."

After many tries of putting Natasha in bed and having her stay that way, Maria said her final for the night "Goodnight Natasha," and left Stark Tower for her own apartment. 

As she walks through the door, putting her keys in the key tray, she notices Natasha's personnel file on the coffee table. 

Usually, she wouldn't use her power for such purposes. Most people would put this on par with stalking someone online, Maria Hill isn't most people. She reads through the file, document by document, page by page, picture after picture. It was, luring, like she was being enchanted, by her story. Paper ring forgotten among the keys. 

***

**"Hey babe, did you continue reading this without me?" Maria asks, holding up a book from Natasha's nightstand.**

**"Yeah, what about it," she replied in a playfully taunting manner**

**"You moved my bookmark!" she exclaimed, eyes wide, mouth agape.**

**"I had to read ahead! You were taking so long to complete it!" she replies in defense.**

**"Now how will I know where to read from?" she asks.**

**"Page one hundred and thirty two," she states calmly.**

**"Thank you," she says with a smile.**

_The wine is cold_

_Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street_

_Cat and mouse for a month or two or three_

_Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe_

It had been nearly a week after the Asgardian mead fiasco, both women were back at work, carrying out their same duties.

When Natasha remembered the events of the previous night, she was embarrassed at what she had revealed to the Commander. 

She avoided her as much as possible so as to avoid any questioning about her confessions she had made that night. 

In a way, it was a blessing they rarely crossed paths on the Helicarrier.

***

**Maria had gotten home late from the Helicarrier the night before, so when Natasha woke up, she took the time to get out of bed and help put away her stuff.**

**By the time she was done, Maria was still asleep so she took the opportunity to climb back into bed and watch her sleeping peacefully.**

**"Are you staring, Agent Romanoff?" she asks, eyes not quite open yet.**

**"I couldn't help but notice how peaceful you looked Commander Hill, I couldn't resist," she replies.**

**A small smile starts to form on her lips, "C'mere" she mumbles.**

_Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night_

_(Oh!) Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright_

_Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life_

_(One, two, one two three four!)_

Natasha had been badly injured on a recent mission, so to free up medical and ensure that Natasha ACTUALLY rested like the doctor on the Helicarrier instructed, Maria brought her back to her place. 

The two women walked through the door, Natasha dropped her duffle bag on the floor and Maria dropped her keys into the key tray.

"The bathroom is down that corridor, first door on the left. Clean towels are on the second shelf." she says as she starts to warm up some leftover pasta for the two of them.

As she waited for the microwave to beep done, she heard the water stop. She turned towards the door as she saw Natasha, hair wet, water dripping down her body. She was wrapped in a towel as she walked over to her duffle bag by the door. 

It was something different, if she were to be honest, the deadly Black Widow wrapped in nothing but a pink towel, hair wet, dripping water all over the place. It was almost domestic, carefree. 

Maria didn't realize she was caught up.in her own thoughts until she heard her come up to the kitchen island, opening the container, and shoving a forkful of Chicken Alfredo into her mouth.

"Can I ask you something?" Maria said to fill the silence. 

"Shoot," Natasha replied between mouthfuls.

"That night, with the Asgardian mead, you got pretty wasted, and you said something to me, and it's been eating at me all this while, I just wanna know if it's true," she said.

Natasha looked confused, "To be fair, I said a lot of things I don't that night, and I don't remember any of it. So if you want clarifications, you're gonna have to give some details Hill."

"It's stupid but um, you confessed your undying love to me that night, how you wanted to he with me forever and all that fairy tale bullshit," she replied as quickly as possible.

Natasha sets her fork down, she looks surprised, confused, maybe even nervous. She opens her mouth as if she wants to say something but stops herself. She inhales softly, trying to calm herself before saying

"It's true."

She looks down at her feet, scared of what the commander might think.

Maria lifts Natasha's head and they look at each other for a while, in the silence of her home. 

Maria breaks the silence with "I'm so glad it is," before kissing her.

The kiss is soft and tender, comforting. They both feel it, encouraging Natasha to stay, telling her not to run. The best part? Natasha does.

***

**Natasha toys with the velvet ring box in her pocket as she approaches Maria from where she stands in their dining room.**

**She gets down on one knee, opens the ring box and asks the question that changed their lives completely, "Mia, will you marry me?"**

**"Absolutely," she replies, trying to hold back tears.**

_I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings_

_Uh huh, that's right_

_Darling, you're the one I want,_

**Natasha toys with a random piece of paper and asks "Do you still have that paper ring I made for you that night?"**

**Maria sets her book down and walks over to a chest of drawers and pulls out the paper ring.**

**"Huh, so do I," Natasha added, pulling her's out.**

**"A prophecy told I guess," she replied before pulling her fiancé in for a kiss.**

_And I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this_

_Uh huh, that's right_

_Darling, you're the one I want,_

_Paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams_

_Oh, you're the one I want_

**It was their wedding day, and Clint was giving a speech. It should've been ruled a complaint letter based on how much he complained about how he had to put up with all the pining before they actually got together.**

**The two just rolled their eyes and laughed. Maybe it had taken a long time, maybe it was a surprise. But I was definitely something they were sure of.**

**She was the one she wanted.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys thanks for all the overwhelming support from the previous chapters. Hope you like this one as much as the other one. thAnks for reading. Leave your friendly neighborhood demonichelbeast a kudos or comment (or two). See you next time! Hopefully soon haha!


	17. Quarantine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -quarantine  
> -original child characters  
> -adoption  
> -Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. crossover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AOS crossover nobody asked for. AJ is one of the Original Child Characters I made. Enjoy!

They had been welcoming Coulson’s in the hangar when they felt it. 

They watched the Zephyr touched down in the Avengers Compound hangar. “Hill, Romanoff,” Coulson greeted and May nodded at them beside him as they walked past. 

Natasha spotted FitzSimmons and Coulson and May’s protege, Daisy (or was it Skye?) whispering to each other. 

“They’re talking about us you know,” she says, nudging Maria as she does. 

“So? Let them, they’re fangirling,” Maria adds.

She can hear Natasha try to hold in a laugh next to her when she spots Bobbi coming down the ramp towards her, ex-husband in tow. 

Bobbi comes down and hugs them both before Natasha and Maria start to stare at Hunter together. 

“So the rumours are true,” Maria says, “Coulson really took you in huh.”

“Don’t sound so surprised now,” Hunter says before taking a sip of his beer bottle. 

“They’re fucking too!” Daisy shouts from behind them and Bobbi visibly winces and yells in reply, “Gee, thanks a lot Daisy,” while Hunter looks quite proud of himself. All Natasha could think about was “So it’s Daisy, apparently.”

They can see Mack and wh she presumes is the Inhuman “Yo-Yo” they scooped up from Colombia. Before they can greet them, that’s when they feel it. It’s like an earthquake, chaos ensues around them. 

Coulson and May come running in from behind them. She can hear Coulson shouting “Stop it Skye!” and the person whom she thought was Daisy replies with “I’m not doing it!” The whole thing just makes her more confused, especially the whole Daisy/Skye thing. Then the electricity goes out for a few seconds only to come back seconds later in a big, bright boom. 

After they had regained their senses, they all headed towards the surveillance room. Simmons pointed out a small figure on the screen of the Gym. She was shaking, in disbelief of what she just did. She fell to her knees, she looked like she was crying. Agents around her, unmoving.

“Who’s that?” Bobbi says, breaking the silence. 

Maria and Natasha immediately start charging out of the room together, “A kid, AJ, a very special one too,” they said.  
When they reach the gym, they find her passed out. “AJ, wake up sweetie, hey, wake up, come back to us hon,” they say, trying to wake her up to no avail. The rest of Coulson’s comes in behind them as they carry her to the medbay. 

They put her on a stretcher and FitzSimmons and Jane Foster and immediately start on her as the other agents start filing in with the rest. 

Maria and Natasha stand back, watching as people surround her small frame as she lay on the hospital bed. Thor approaches them from behind and asks, “Lady Maria, Lady Natasha, what is happening? Is that AJ?” 

They turn to him and nod, “We don’t know what happened, according to surveillance footage, the earthquake, the power going out, the blast of electricity and light, it all originated from the gym, where AJ and the other agents were. We don’t know who did this.” 

“Well then, let’s find out!” Thor says as he marches to the surveillance room. 

As they watched the surveillance footage, Maria asks Thor “Why AJ?” 

“I'm sorry Lady Hill, I don't follow?” he replies.

“You call all of us Lady this, Master that, but you never call us by our first names alone, well except for Loki. But AJ is the anomaly, why do you call her just AJ?” Natasha clarifies. 

“She asked me too, and she and I have become quite close, the young one has taught me many of your human games like beer pong, tennis, and never have I ever,” he says.

“Never have I ever IS A DRINKING GAME!” Maria shouts in disbelief. 

“Oh don’t worry Lady Maria, we do different things like eating pickles and onions or dares as you humans call them,” Thor says, hands in front of him protectively.

Natasha laughs at the scene in front of her. Once Maria had calmed down, Thor adds, “She also called me a pretentious idiot for calling her Lady AJ and according to Jane, that is not something you want to be called in Midgard.” 

Maria and Natasha can’t help but smile at the person who was basically a daughter to them in the time that they knew her. That’s when they see it, a couple of junior agents crowding around her as she takes off her boxing gloves. They can't make out what they're saying but it clearly upsets her. She bites her lip and lowers her head. And it worsens, the agents start poking her and she clenches her fists. They start laughing at her and she closes her eyes and clenches her jaw. They can’t believe what they see, Maria is putting them all on latrine duty for the next two months, at least. One of the agents says something and that’s when she breaks. Nothing seems to have happened, but the agents started panicking, wondering why the ground was shaking. Weights fell off of the shelves, agents dropped to the ground. But AJ was still, she was controlling it all. 

Then, light started to come out of the agents, their bodies, like their life force, was being drained from them. AJ started to glow as she took it all in. Agents all fell, one by one. Then the lights were being drained. Suddenly, all the shaking stopped, and AJ stood there alone and let it all go, light flowed out of her into the agents, the lights, out the door to everything else in the compound. AJ caused it all, the question now, was how.

***

The three of them rushed back to the medbay, tablet with the footage in Maria’s hand. “We know who caused it,” Natasha said as Maria put the tablet in Coulson's hand and his team gathered around him to watch. None of them believed what they saw, when the video finished, they looked at the body of the child that lay on the hospital bed.

***  
Maria and Natasha watched as FitzSimmons wheeled her into a containment module while she was still unconscious. 

“Where’d you find her,” May asks from beside them. 

They smile and say “Someone was selling one-time-use non-lethal weaponry from some warehouse that used parts from S.H.I.E.L.D’s old toys. The Avengers went in and stormed the place. Imagine our surprise when we storm the place expecting some wizened old Megamind genius only to find a little girl sitting on the support beams saying “I’ve been expecting you.” We tried to grab her, but she had a force field up, nothing worked because “Any energy you give it, it takes to make itself stronger.” We basically gave up, so she cut herself a deal. Apparently, some douche for the Watchdogs wanted a surefire weapon to kill Inhumans and she said no. So he put a bomb in her and wanted her to make the weapon and threatened her life for it. We took her in, took care of her, then she kinda joined S.H.I.E.L.D after the whole bomb in her body fiasco and she's trained under us since. We’ve grown fond of her, she’s kinda like our daughter in a way. A weird one, but still a way.” 

May smiles at them and says “A bit like Daisy and I,” before walking away.

They enter the containment module and sit there, watching her lay there unconscious on the sterile white bed. Natasha lays her head on Maria’s shoulder and asks, “Do you want to adopt her?” 

“I mean, we were talking about kids around the time she showed up, seems like fate don’t you think?” she replies. 

“Yea, fate indeed. She fell right into our lap now didn't she,” she replies.

“She’s waking up, why don’t we tell her now,” she replies, nodding towards the sterile white bed where the small figure was waking up.

They get up and walk towards AJ, Natasha greets her with a “hey kiddo.” She gives them a small, groggy, drowsy smile. When she comes to her senses, she backs away from them, she keeps repeating “Don’t come closer, I could hurt you, you saw what I did,” over and over, like a mantra.

“Hey kiddo, it’s fine, you won’t hurt us,” Natasha says in an attempt to comfort her.

“No, you don't know that, you saw what I did to those agents, I could do it to you too,” AJ said.

“You’ve been with us for months now, you haven’t hurt us yet, why would you now?” Maria said,

She stays silent, fiddling with the ends of her jacket, staring down, refusing to make eye contact with them. 

“Honestly, I couldn't believe my own eyes when I saw those agents with you, what are they? Jealous?” Natasha says as she sits on the bed beside her. Maria follows suit, a smile forming on her lips.

“They can expect no less than two months latrine duty, I assure you,” she adds.

AJ looks up at them and smiles. The two women pulled her in for a hug. She shrugged free of it and lay down on the bed. The two women follow suit and lay down beside her, the three of them squeezing into the tiny bed. They wrap their arms around her as AJ nestles her head into Maria’s chest.

“It’s stupid, but they said that I’m being babied by you,” she mumbles. 

The two women look at her inquisitively, but AJ merely removes her lenses and its container from her back pocket and puts them in Natasha’s hand. “There’s a black scan pad in my room on the right side of my desk, put these on and you can see and hear everything I did when they were on,” she explains.

The three of them stay there a while longer before they are interrupted by May, Yo-yo, Bobbi and Daisy entering the room. The two women stand up and straighten up before exiting the room.  
AJ sits up and faces the four of them. 

“Hey AJ, right? We wanted to ask you some questions on your powers,” Bobbi says, lowering herself to her height. 

“One night, in the warehouse, there was some blue mist that swept around, the next morning I woke up and everything was screaming. I could feel everything, more specifically everything’s energy. The circuit breaker, my ball I left up on a support beam, the car battery outside, the lamp by my worktable, the food from the night before, the people walking outside, the water dripping, I could feel it all. I figured it out pretty quickly, energy manipulation, and Inhuman power thanks to terrigenesis. It was easier to control once I knew what it was. I could change forms of energy, and take and give it too. It helped in a way, I became a plant in some sense, didn’t need to actually eat, electrocuting myself, sitting in the sun or blasting music filled me up. Food is just energy anyway. That force field I put up when the Avengers stormed my place, I made it, took whatever energy that was put onto it like their punches and converted it right back into the shield. Ooh! I can also run super fast, and this kind of super scream or something,” she says with excitement.

“How do you know about Inhumans and terrigenesis?” May asks.

“Skye isn't the only one to hack into S.H.I.E.L.D. servers from free laptops,” she says smugly.

“Daisy,” she corrects before realizing, “Wait, you’re the phoenix, like THE phoenix I’ve been trying to flush out the past few months.”

“Yup,” she says, popping the ‘p’.

“And we didn’t know about this because?” Yo-yo asks.

“She was harmless, she just looked through files, never downloading or erasing them. I just thought she was one of those curious kids, she was Gucci,” Daisy explains.

“Gucci by day, Chanel by night,” she adds before Daisy fist bumps her. May looks confused while Bobbi rolls her eyes.

They are silent for a while before Yo-yo asks, “What’s the extent of your powers?” 

“I'm not too sure but I have theories of what I can do based on science and stuff,” she explains. 

“Test run?” Daisy asks, looking between her and Yo-yo.

May glares at them before telling them to “be safe.”

The three of them are out of the room soon enough and are in the open field outside the compound. 

Coulson, May, Maria and Natasha soon find them. AJ was racing Yo-yo around the compound, but to everyone else, it was a blur. Yo-yo had returned just milliseconds earlier than AJ and congratulated her opponent for “giving me a run for my money.”

“Pun intended?” Daisy asks, and Yo-yo nods in reply. Then AJ runs up the building before letting out a scream that cleared a path in the forest. 

When she got back to the ground, Daisy called her Mariah Carey and Yo-yo lightly punched her. 

AJ claimed that she was hungry, and Yo-yo said she’d race her. Daisy complained that she was being left out before AJ told her she could fly. 

“You can fly?” Coulson asks. Daisy shook her head.

“I can levitate, but fly? No,” Daisy replies. 

“In theory, you can control vibrations of the things around you, which means you can control the vibrations of the air such that you fly like superman and stuff. Like how Tony Stark uses repulsors to fly,” AJ explains. 

Daisy tries it and to her surprise, succeeds. She then proceeds to turn to Yo-yo and says “Race you to the kitchen,” before heading there herself. 

Coulson and May smile at the hilarity of the situation. While Maria and Natasha walk towards AJ’s side. The trio then walks towards the kitchen, chatting along the way. 

“We watched the footage, and those agents might just be S.H.I.E.L.D janitors for the amount of latrine duty they’ll get,” Maria says.

“Yeah nobody should say those kinds of things about us, especially behind our backs,” Natasha says. 

“They should know better than to mess with Hardass Hill and the Black Widow, saying we can’t be mothers, eesh,” Maria says, smiling at Natasha.

“Speaking of, we were hoping we could officially adopt you, you feel?” Natasha tells her. 

AJ stops in her tracks, “Are you serious?” she asks. 

“Yeah why not, we basically became a family during the time you were here,” they say.  
“Even after, well everything today?” she says, not daring to believe so.

“Yeah, adopting you means you get to go to school and stuff. You also get to move into our floor, but you already spend the majority of your time there anyway,” Natasha explains. 

AJ is smiling brightly at them, “I thought I overheard you guys talking about that as I was waking up but I didn't think it was real. I didn't want to get my hopes up.” 

“This is real, every last bit of it, you are not dreaming, we do want you to become part of our family,” Maria says. 

AJ's smile grows bigger still, “Alright, thank you for all of this, Moms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave your friendly neighbourhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two) and see you on the flip side, which is hopefully not too long haha.


	18. Remedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -the one where they're hungover asf and their kids try to make it better  
> -established relationship  
> -original child characters

AJ pulled out a tray from the cupboard as well as some glasses from the cupboard. 

“Em,” she called “how close are you to being done with breakfast.”

“Five minutes,” she replies as she flips a pancake. Charlie stood near the plate on a stool, syrup bottle in hand, ready to douse the pancakes in syrup as soon as they hit the plate. 

“I don’t think they want a lot of artificial sugar after last night Charlie,” Emily says, removing the bottle from her sister’s hand and putting it on the other side of the stove,

“C’mere Charlie, you can make their fruit bowl and make nice designs for them,” AJ says, nodding to the board of cut fruits and the bowl next to it. Charlie smiles and skips towards the board with her stool in hand. AJ smiles as she puts some raw ginger into a saucepot and fills two large glasses of water. She then proceeds to grab two shot glasses and fills them with rum from the cupboard. Emily plates the pancakes, eggs, bacon and baked beans and puts them on the tray. Charlie gives her her fruit bowl, proud of her design for her sister to add to the tray. AJ puts the last of the items on the tray before taking the tray and heading down the hallway, sisters in tow. 

Emily puts her hand on the door handle then telling them to “be quiet, don’t wake them up, we’ll just sit at the foot of their bed and wait for them to wake up ok?” before opening the door to their parents’ room, two bodies still intertwined. The three of them put the tray down and waited for them to wake up. Picking up the clothes on the floor and dumping them into the laundry hamper.

The three of them sat back down and waited, staring at their mothers to wake up. 

“Wow, Asgardian mead is clearly not for humans huh,” Emily whispers.

AJ smiles while Charlie asks “What’s Asgardian me?”

“Asgardian mead is a beverage to make Asgardians drunk, and humans super DUPER drunk,” AJ explains.

“Oh, what’s drunk?” she asks.

“Another day ok?” Emily says before ruffling her younger sister’s hair. 

They continue to sit there in silence before the sheets start to move. Maria is awake, and she strokes Natasha’s arm to wake her up. 

“Ugh, too early Mia,” Natasha mumbles. 

“It’s already 8:15 Nat,” she replies before climbing on top of her.  
“Ew, Mamas,” Charlie says unnecessarily loud.

The two women jump at the sound of her and see their children standing near the foot of their bed, AJ holding a tray of food. 

“Good morning to you too kiddos,” Maria says.

AJ puts the tray down and the three of them get to work, giving them drinks, foods and medicines one after the other. It was a flurry of “Eat this.” “Drink this.” “Swallow this.” “Finish this.” 

After it was all finished, Maria managed to ask “What’s all this?”

“The best hangover remedy tried, tested and backed by science and yours truly,” AJ says as she points to herself, beaming with pride. 

“Oh right, there was a lot of drinking last night,” Natasha says squinting because of the bright room.

“More like Never Have I Ever’ with Asgardian mead,” Emily explained.

Charlie giggled as their mothers lay back down onto the bed, exhausted. 

“Come on guys, let them have their breakfast in peace,” AJ says ushering her sisters out of their parents’ room.

As Maria and Natasha dug into their breakfast, Maria mangoes to say “we got lucky with them didn't we,” between mouthfuls to which Natasha replies with a nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall if you like these kid fics, I'm planning on making a multi-chapter fic with all the kids after this. hope yall enjoyed this one, stay safe ya! Thanks for reading. Leave your friendly neighbourhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two) and see you on the flip side which we can only hope is soon.


	19. Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -soulmate au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you see that NO DEATH in the tags? hahaha, sike this chapter changes it all.
> 
> soulmate prompt: before you meet them, their first words to you tattooed on your forearm. after you meet them, their last words to you tattooed on your forearm.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Hill." Maria Hill had the most generic soul mark to ever exist. She even had the Guinness world record certificate to prove it. Okay, so that last bit may have been a lie. There was no world record for it, but if there was, she'd definitely receive it. 

Life must think it’s funny after giving her a job that requires her to greet diplomats on a regular basis. In a single night, she can be greeted dozens of times. And each time, she’ll say the exact same thing, the date and time. Every time is just another sweaty old man in a suit, the occasional tech genius who has the body of an absolute goddess. But, for better or for worse, never her soulmate.

After a while, it got a bit irritating, the whole getting her hopes up and the whole train of emotions that came with it. The whole ‘Do I want them or not?’ debate in her head as she watches different people with that ‘suck up smile’ plastered on their face. 

Tonight, she’d have to do the same. Fortunately, several other field agents would also be there. Fury thought it was a good idea. She’d even get to meet the agent Barton brought in recently. Romanoff, Russian, ex-KGB, manipulative, cunning, Fury trusted her more than he trusted Sitwell. Well, to be fair, that cat Goose trusted her more than Sitwell and he trusted that cat. But, potato, potahto, same difference. 

When she arrived, diplomats were everywhere. Musty cologne, wool blend suits and generic hairstyles all around the event hall. She spotted a bar on the far right side of the hall and immediately started to make a beeline to the bar. 

When she reached the bar there was a woman with a vodka in hand. She orders a double before leaning against the bar too. That’s when the woman in red came up to her and held out her hand for her to shake and said: "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hill." 

“Nine thirty-two, July 27th,” she mumbled under her breath and shook the woman’s hand.

Her soul mark starts to glow and burn her skin, she notices the woman in red’s soul mark begins to do the same. 

“I'm Natasha Romanoff, Miss Hill,” Natasha said with a smile

“Maria Hill, Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.,” she replies

“Nice to finally meet you, Commander,” she says, raising her glass. 

She raises her glass and they clink their glasses. They drink the rest of the night, waking up naked in Maria’s apartment. 

Years went by, and life was amazing for the couple. Marriage, buying a house, working together, the whole white picket fence shebang. 

Some days, they'd relish the domesticity, how natural it all felt. Whether it be, making meals for each other, kissing each other goodbye before jumping into the car, laughing their hearts out, and driving off to base, or the little post-it notes they left each other when the other was away for a long time. 

Other days, they'd sit down, staring at the new inscription tattooed on their forearms. Trying to piece together what the situation would be like, their last words to each other. It wasn't something they enjoyed talking about. Nights that they spent talking about it always ended with them holding each other tighter in the morning with tear-stained clothes. Sometimes try to make the situation better by thinking about how similar their start and end is – Natasha's "Twelve sixteen March 17th." and Maria's "It was a pleasure knowing you Missus Hill" – it helped a little, their clothes were a little less stained by morning but it never worked very well. 

After retiring from the agency, they spent more time together. Solving jigsaw puzzles, watching too many thrillers and crime shows and creating Lego village after Lego village. 

Natasha fell ill, she was on borrowed time according to every doctor they met. 

"3 months, that's all she's got, give or take," was the answer from most doctors. Some are more generous than others with the number.

Those 3 months were gruelling for Maria, she stayed by Natasha's bed, day in, day out, hoping she'd make some miraculous recovery. It never came.

Nevertheless, Maria persisted, staying by her soulmate's side. Fighting fatigue and hunger to spend as much time as possible with her before she was gone.

Natasha couldn't stand it. "Come here," she said, calling out to Maria. Maria looked up to meet her shining brown eyes. "Come here," she repeated, patting the bed beside her for emphasis. 

Natasha climbed next to her and cuddled closer into her side. "I don't know what I would do without you, honestly," she confessed.

"Neither do I. Actually, scratch that, I'd be bored to death at yet another diplomat’s event, so thank you," she replies, making Natasha laugh.

"You're welcome, it's a bit late but it's alright," she said, stifling a laugh.

"You turned my world upside down Maria Hill, I don't think I could thank you enough," she says, barely louder than a whisper.

"Well, as did you Natasha Romanoff," she replies looking up at her, smiling.

“Natasha Hill, excuse me,” she corrects her.

“Sorry, still don’t believe that i caught someone like you babe,” she admits

"We've had quite the adventure now haven't we, Maria Hill," she says, breaths, slower, shallower.

"Yes we have my dear," she replies the worry evident in her voice, looking towards the monitor.

"I think, you can let me go now, can't you Commander," she says, even slower.

"Absolutely not! I don't know what I'd be without you Agent," she replies, tears starting to well up. 

"Get into less trouble I hope. I won't be able to save you anymore," she says, smiling.

"Well to be fair Carter caused most of the trouble now didn't he," she replies, smiling at the memory.

"She did, didn't she," she said smiling, a pause in memory of their lost friend, her lost sister, "a great woman, and an even greater friend."

"Yeah, so don't go running off or I won't have anyone," she says, pointing a finger at her.

“It's ok, once you get to the other side, Carter and I will pick you up," she said, squeezing her hand.

“Well then, I'll meet you by the bar," she says holding her cold hand.

“I’ll be waiting with a double for you,” she says.

“Don’t let the ice melt,” she adds.

The other woman laughs at the joke. Then, they're both laughing at it, filling the painful silence and tension of the room with laughter. 

After the laughter dies down, and they sit in comfortable silence, enjoying it, as much as they can. 

“It was a pleasure knowing you Missus Hill,” she says.

"Twelve sixteen March 17th," she says, looking at the clock.

Maria listens to the beeping of the monitor as she feels the steady rise and fall of the other woman's chest. She listens as the beeps become longer, and closer together. She lets her tears fall onto the plastic-paper like itchy material of the hospital gown. 

She braces herself for that dreadful sound, hoping it never comes. And when it does, she hates it. The long, monotonous, beep, that never ends, she holds onto her body tighter. She holds on tighter and doctors and nurses rush in. 

She prepared herself for it all. Except,

"Time of death, twelve sixteen pm"

She broke down, wailing, sobbing, as she held onto the love of her life, not daring to let go. And that's when it hurt hardest. The inscription started glowing, burning, it was as if she could hear her say it. "It was a pleasure knowing you Missus Hill." She treasured all the pleasurable moments, she held onto the memories,

She thought of all the good memories as she said her last "Goodbye my love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave your friendly neighbourhood pathetic lesbian disaster a kudos or comment (or two) and see you on the flip side, which is hopefully not too long haha.

**Author's Note:**

> HMU on Tumblr @patheticlesbiandisaster


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